Broken FURNACE with a Side of a Broken Back

So on the count of three everyone raise their hands if you missed my sarcastic rants? If you're raising your hand I can't see you sillies, so you're all just going to have to comment on the post and let me know! 

I'm not even going to try and lie and make up some excuse as to why I haven't blogged in a while, I'm just going to be honest and post this gif so you can see how I look at the end of every day:

 Let me fill you all in on what's been going on in the Gaydy Household since the last blog. Mama Tammy is still out of commission and I'm still holding down Casa Di Gaydy while working. Quick update on Mama Tammy... we're awaiting a surgery date for her back fusion (we'll get to that) so send her lots of love and positive vibes on social media, just send me Jack Daniels please, no serious.. Jack Daniels Black Label.

On a sidenote, we finally got a new furnace, just in time for spring! At least we're one step ahead of Old Man Winter next year! Our new furnace came with a digital thermostat so we were all excited to have something modern in the house. Our house had one of those old dial thermostats that probably belongs in the Smithsonian along with our original furnace. Ah, the little things in life! Since the furnace decided to die, the hot water heater felt a type of way, so we had to have that replaced as well. I'll tell you what, this house is going to be in tip top shape when I fucking sell it!

In the last blog I mentioned how we had a sewage back up right before our furnace died. It's all cleaned up now. I mean I'm not going to lie, it was like an episode straight out of the fucking X-files. Don't believe me, have a gander at this:

Here we have some wonderful not-by-choice-home-remodeling photos!

Looks great right? I mean the lack of walls will make hide-n-seek a little easier to play, but now we can do surprise attacks on people by climbing through the beams! I know you're all dying to see the newest submission to the Smithsonian, so without further ado:

There ya have it dearies! Out with the old and in with the new:

Oh, here's a new update you should all be aware of... I am no longer a vegetarian. Yea I mean who out there had bets on how long I would last eating just vegetables? I gave in when I was confronted with the choice of a salad or a western burger. I mean come on that's not even a second thought! Once I took the first bite, this image immediately popped into my head:

I have to give props where props are due. Bianca and Tammy are standing strong on the vegetarian thing. Alessandra has decided that Chipotle is vegetarian so she's on the dark side with me. Michael preaches to Bianca and Tammy about how it is a natural necessity that as humans we consume meat. When this happens, this also happens in my mind:

While our refrigerator is stocked with vegetables and other vegetarian things, I do have a stash of chicken hidden in the freezer. I mean I'm not opposed to trying to eat healthier it's just the dark powers take over and next thing I know I'm eating something on the forbidden list looking like this:

I love our daughters and I love when out of no where they come up with these random ideas. One day last week they came down and said they wanted to join a gym so that they could be fit for Bianca's wedding..........in TWO YEARS! Now neither one of them are unfit, however they don't believe us when we tell them this. So Carlton did the research on which gym would be best for them and I took them to sign up. As soon as I walked in we were greeted by the trainer. Next thing I know I'm signed up for a session with him. Not exactly sure how that happened but bruh needs to dial back on the red bull! The Trainer is all ready to go, looking like this:

Meanwhile I'm thinking this is what I would look like if I had to workout:

Come on now.. all you gym people know that the music they play in the gyms is lit. 

So the girls are all signed up and have been going 4 days a week. They are convinced they will have Kardashian bodies in no time. Meanwhile I'm thinking could I at least get half of the Kardashian's money? What? I think that's a fair trade. Ok fine, I'll settle for a quarter of their money. 

By now, you all know that Tammy has been out of commission from injuries sustained in a car accident. We had a follow up with the Neurosurgeon last week where he told us that she'll have to have another fusion done, but on the back. The doctor was explaining how the procedure would take place and what the procedure would entail and the whole time he was explaining the procedure my face looked like this:

I could tell Tammy was scared so I bursted out with "Well babe, this isn't our first rodeo!" After that comment I got this look:

I was trying to lighten up the mood, which clearly didn't work. The neurosurgeon proceeded to explain that the back surgery is a little more involved than her neck surgery and how it's generally a longer recovery time. It took everything in me to not do this:

Come on now... I mean there's days I can't remember if I brushed my teeth, forgot to pick up a kid, finished my work assignments, feed the 900000 animals we have, clean up after the 900000 animals we have, what to make for dinner so that ERRRRRRRRRYBODY is happy and eats, while still in my fucking pajamas from three days ago! I still have laundry in the dryer from a week ago. Lord baby Jesus a sister needs some help! I wake up every morning like this:

In between all of this and right when I sit down to relax for 5 minutes our little guy is like "hey mommy want to throw the football around with me!" Sure buddy, ya know because Mommy hasn't done enough in one day so let's go outside and toss the ol' ball around! My response is usually, "yea go ahead and I'll be out in a few, meanwhile this is what I'm actually doing!