Yea, yea yea... I know I suck at life.. blah blah blah. I know I kept promising a blog and then not doing one and now here we are.. you all got your blog!
I just realized that the last blog I did was in September... hashtag Sorry Not Sorry! So a lot of things have happened over the last two months so anticipate this one to be a long drawn out blog of me ranting! I mean not that, that is different from any of the other blogs I've done.
I suppose we'll start with Halloween because I honestly can't remember what happened at the end of September. I'm pretty sure I've discussed my dislike of Halloween in past blogs. Definitely not a Halloween person, I don't think it should fall under the "holiday" category AT ALL! However, my wife loves Halloween so therefore I have absolutely no choice in what I plan on doing for Halloween, because she has it all planned out for me.
We'll back up a little to maybe about a week or so before Halloween where we had to "decorate" the house for this "holiday". This entailed buying decorative pumpkins for inside the house because ya know all the trick-or-treaters' are going to see the Halloween decorations inside our house! At one point during my work week I got a text message from Tammy asking me where our "Welcome to our Patch" yard sign was. She then went on to inform me that she had the girls hang the black cat, the pumpkin sign and the "Halloween/Fall" wreath, and that all the outside decorations were up! Speaking of.. why does every single friggen holiday have to involve a wreath?
My wife then proceeds to tell me that we need more outside decorations for Halloween, like the blow up ones they have for Christmas. See now I don't understand why this necessary. Why would spend an entire weekend wiring up our house for one day.. not even ONE day! More like a few hours! I don't mind doing the decorations for Christmas because at least you get a whole month of "look what I did hunny, doesn't it look great?!" I wasn't being completely difficult. I did however agree that she could get some more decorations, but she kept picking things that required my participation. Meaning.... ME having to install said decorations or wire said decoration.
Once we got the decoration situation under control, she was looking for the right kind of candy blend. I pickup a giant bag and said, "here ya go". She was all concerned with what kids could or couldn't have chocolate. I mean how is that OUR responsibility?! I mean isn't the parents responsibility to go through their child's bag or basket and take out what they can or can't have? Listen, I'm spending my hard earned money to feed the neighborhood kids candy, my job is done! You bring your kid out trick-or-treating you can't be pulling all that, "my kid can't have peanuts" or "I don't give my kid chocolate" shit!
The morning of Halloween, while I'm at work, my wife sends me a text asking me what I'm being for Halloween. I simply send her a selfie while I'm in an elevator with a reply that says "this". What do you mean what am I being for Halloween? NOTHING!!! I had grand plans of coming home and doing nothing. However, I had to sit out in the cold, on the porch and hand out candy! Why you ask? Because my wife said that was what I was doing, so that's what I did. Usually I'm the one on Halloween like:
However I have to admit, being sarcastic with little kids is so much fun because they never get it and you can go on and on with sarcastic banter. I have to admit I did have a good time messing with the kids the older kids who just strolled on up in regular clothes. One kid told me he left his mask at home. Ummmmmmm, how you doing to leave your mask at home and then try to get some candy! I kept asking the kids if it was a trick or a treat and all of them kept looking at me with this dumbfounded look on their face. I don't see the difficulty in answering the question? Do you?
Now that Halloween is over, I tried to put the decorative pumpkins away and I was stopped in my tracks like I had robbed a bank. My wife was all like:
She then informed me that the pumpkins will stay up through Thanksgiving. Once again....why are we decorating for Thanksgiving? It's literally ONE day. We have pumpkins in the living room, in the kitchen, fall scented hand soap, fall scented candles. Why...just why? This is how I feel... if we don't have music to associate with the holiday there shouldn't be decorating involved.
With Thanksgiving quickly approaching my wife is already one step ahead and prepping for Christmas. She's already informed me that she has created a Pinterest board and invited all the kids to the board so that they can start adding things that they want! For the love of my sanity, can we please just get through one holiday at a time! I'm still recovering from October and the fact that four of 5 kids had birthdays that month! You know what that means? It means this:
Before we get into Christmas mode, lets take a breather and recognized that my birthday is in November. How about we make a board for Mama Kris and invite the kids to that board, I'll pin things I want and then we can let them do this:
What? I think moms deserve presents on their birthdays. Of course there's no board on Pinterest, except for the one I made called "wish list", but no one joined. Apparently everyone is on the Christmas train already. On top of the kids' Pinterest wish list, Tammy has decided that she would like to get a jump on the Christmas decorating. I'm sorry.. by you, you mean me. "Just a little here and there" she says to me! Nope, not doing it! I always decorate on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I'm standing my ground on that one. That then led my wife to informing me that we needed to decide what new decoration we were going to add to our outside holiday display. This of course prompted this reaction from me:
I'm sorry you want to add another what? Last year I had to buy 3 of those outlet things that stick into the ground that you plug into an extension cord that had three outlets in each, not to mention 4 more extension cords just to wire them all into the porch light. Sure thing hunny lets just add one more thing and really see if we can blow the door right off the fuse box in the basement! I suggested maybe a battery operated something, or something that didn't light up or require electricity, which of course prompted this response from my wife:
Which basically means that I'm going to end up going out and buying something with a wire and praying that I don't blow up the house when I flip the switch to the porch light.
Here's so interesting news... I've torn my meniscus for the fourth time, which means I am not in physical therapy with Tammy 3 days a week. We like to call it our date nights. We get a table for two.. well, not really but our tables are next to each other. She gets heat and I get electrical stim with compression ice. Listen when you have as many kids as we do and no time for each other, you do what you gotta do, even it means being tortured at physical therapy while giving each other loving, pain ridden faces at each other. It's kind of like this:
Sounds romantic right?!
In case you all don't know by now, Tammy and I have been working on a Podcast. We are very excited this and have launched it probably about 4 weeks ago. A link to our podcast is on our website up at the top labeled "The Gaydy Moms' Podcast", if you click that it will bring you to our previous episodes. We are also on Anchor, Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Breaker, Castbox, Pocketcasts, RadioPublic and Stitcher! New episodes come out every Friday. Definitely subscribe and favorite our podcast on whatever platform you choose. We are looking forward to interacting with our readers and followers so please feel free to send us some questions or topics you would like us to talk about